Chapter 1 - The Moments Before She Sleeps
The humming of Kayn’s blood that coursed through her veins seemed to sing along to the steady, almost tribal, beat of her feet as they pounded rhythmically into the dirt. A veil of earth flowed behind her; she resembled a flaxen haired angel attempting to outrun a cloud. The cloud of dust seemed to follow her for a moment or two longer than it should, with not one whisper of wind in the afternoon air. The smile that spread over Kayn’s lips while she trained showed that her heart was overflowing with so much joy that it could not be contained beneath a serious competitive demeanor. Watching Kayn run was a beautiful experience to behold and people would stop by the track after school simply to watch her before beginning their long walk home.
Kevin left class quickly every single day, rushed to his locker and fumbled with the lock in a desperate attempt to get up the hill to that spot in the grass where he would watch Kayn train. There was a method behind his madness, for his best friend had a twin sister that he had been addicted to the mere sight of since kindergarten. To anyone else this would make no sense at all but Kayn was his friend; Chloe was his fantasy.
Kevin shoved past the herds of students trying to pry through a single doorway. He was accidentally shoved by a girl up against the wall; his bag dropped and his books fell out. His organizational skills had always left something to be desired. In the congested school hallway, after taking a moment to collect his papers, he zipped up his bag and continued his quest for his one moment in the day to be in the presence of the unattainable Chloe Brighton.
Kevin ran up the hill and unceremoniously plopped himself in his usual spot in the grass. There Kayn was; kicking up dust like a champ. He would time her next lap. Kevin clicked his watch as his best friend flashed by him. Kevin smiled at her even though he was certain that she had not even noticed him sitting there yet. Kayn just oozed happy vibes when she ran; it was contagious.
Her body, lean and freckled from exposure to the sun, glinted with sparkles in the sun’s rays. Kayn did love that coconut sparkle tanning spray. Kevin grinned as he thought about the list of strange little rituals that his best friend had on her daily to do list. At the beginning of her run she did look magical, all glittery like that, but by the end that glitter tanning spray would cause the track’s dust to stick to her whole body in an extremely comical way.
Kevin had always thought that Kayn was beautiful, but of course this was something that he would never say to her. Kevin knew that Kayn would probably be creeped right if he ever uttered words of admiration in her direction. He knew that Kayn had always thought of him as nothing more than her best friend. It sure is a beautiful day, Kevin thought to himself as he looked upwards at the vibrant blue sky.
As Kayn took off her blinders for a moment, allowing for a second to appreciate the sun’s rays gently whispering across her skin, she experienced a feeling of pure joy that was transcendent. Kayn kicked up another cloud to outrun as she rounded the corner. Then there came that pleasurable jolt of electricity that surged through her brain, ignited her soul, and set her afire with insurmountable joy. This moment in her run had always left Kayn with the feeling that she had been given a gift or anointment of physical power. Her adrenaline rippled a winding path of pleasure underneath her skin.
Kayn hit the straight stretch feeling such unimaginable, euphoric, physical ecstasy that she felt baptized by the sweat trickling down her forehead to the sides of her face. Kayn Brighton was alive in this moment in a way that only a runner could comprehend. Kayn was thankful for this moment and every single time the experience overwhelmed her as it had today, her soul felt just a little bit stronger.
Every nerve ending was humming, “Faster Kayn, go faster.” Kayn was an athlete born to push the limits of her body; programmed to be a power house. Runners are a breed of their own; they have their incredible days and their horrible days in a competition. Every day on that track, trail or wherever a runner chooses to run, it is always a feeling of spiritual completion.
‘Don’t call me baby’, by Madison Avenue, was cranked in Kayn’s ears. She kept pace to the beat, feeling powerful and strong. Kayn grinned and made eye contact as she ran past her best friend Kevin, signaling her acknowledgement of his presence.
Kevin sat listening to his music, plucking the long, thin, green strands of grass out of the ground by their roots. He glanced up to look like he was paying attention when she ran by him. Then, out of moderate boredom, Kevin continued to inspect the grass like a monkey at the zoo. One by one Kevin studied the blades of grass and then he threw them behind him.
The next time when he saw Kayn approaching, he waved and displayed a giant fake toothy grin; a funny thing that he had done since Kindergarten to make her erupt in laughter. She passed Kevin and acknowledged that she had seen him sitting there being a goof, by shaking her head from side to side and smiling with her eyes.
Kayn started to walk in order to cool down her overheated body. Her heart began to thump and pound in her chest like an act of defiance to her now walking feet. Kayn licked the sweat from her upper lip, tasting its salty pleasurable reward. She took her track dust covered hand and wiped her forehead to keep the stingy sweat from her eyes. Kayn then wiped the sweat on her shorts noticing the streaks of dirt mixed with sweat and wondered if she had a streak of dust across her forehead.
Kayn turned in one fluid movement to greet Kevin, whose grassy scent signaled his arrival by her side. His giant grin told her that her face was most certainly covered in dirt but he didn’t mention it to her. She loved how he always seemed to look like he was coming to greet her after she had won the Olympics or something equally spectacular. Kayn yanked the earplugs from one of her ears without ceremony.
“Holy crap,” Kevin yelled, “that’s your best time this year. You are going to kick serious butt at the finals next month.”
“You know my earplugs are out Kevin; I can hear you.” Kayn spoke quietly with a touch of sarcasm in her voice.
“Oh you think you’re pretty cool because you’re fast. Well young lady; plenty of people are fast but how many people can do this?” Kevin retorted. Kevin then did a strange dance move involving a twirl and some kind of running man move as he laughed at her mortification. “Please stop,” Kayn said as she surveyed the track and surrounding areas for witnesses.
Kayn Brighton was a pretty girl but she really had no clue how beautiful she could be. Her naturally curly wheat colored hair hung damp with perspiration in a messy pony tail. Kevin had often thought that with Kayn’s pretty face gently speckled with freckles, and her cute nose streaked with mud, she resembled an Amazonian size forest nymph.
Kevin jogged beside Kayn now in order to keep up with her and was struggling because she walked with long model height strides. He used to be just the most adorable little boy on the planet but there was a point where he stopped feeling adorable; that was when his best friend Kayn surpassed him in height by at least two feet by the end of the seventh grade. As a joke, their mothers had been planning their wedding since second grade so this was a complication that they had not anticipated.
Kevin had been in a painfully awkward, acne covered stage for three years now. He was still adorable, although possibly only to Kayn. However, she did notice that Kevin’s skin was looking pretty clear today. This morning there had obviously been some sort of attempt at hygiene. Kayn smiled at him as he valiantly attempted to jog as fast as she was walking.
“You are awesome; I mean that, and I’m totally not saying that to butter you up so you’ll put a good word in with your sister,” Kevin said with a grin that spread from ear to ear. Kevin huffed and puffed struggling to keep up to Kayn’s easy pace. She just loved him to death but she had been letting him down easy for ten years now. She gave him a pat on the shoulder and then flung her arm around him.
She slowed right down to a casual stroll and then sweetly said, “There’s just this one problem muffin. My sister is way too advanced for you.”
“Right; that’s what you say to all the guys stalking your twin sister,” he countered with a grin at her clever grated way of calling her sister slutty.
Kayn choked back a laugh and said, “Yes, as a matter of fact it is exactly what I say to every single one of them.” With a sweet sugar filled tone in her voice Kayn added, “I was forced by the numbers to come up with a token line that I just say to all of them. It just saves time darling.”
Kevin’s face crinkled into a dimpled grin and he shook his head feigning his distaste. Kevin retorted in an almost flirty voice, “I personally can’t believe that after all these years I am merely a number to you Kayn.”
She displayed a giant smile at his attempt at innuendo and would have been flattered had he not kept the conversation directed towards her twin sister. Kayn gave Kevin a friendly pat on the shoulder and said, “Just do yourself a favor; take a hint before she pushes your sanity right over the edge and you become nutty and obsessed like her last boyfriend.” Kayn slapped him on the butt and added, “At least have the decency to warn me if you ever find yourself feeling like you want to wear my sister as a skin coat so I can get you some help.” Kevin let out a small jump and yelp from her slap and shot a dirty look back in her direction.
Kayn took a fake serious tone and said, “How hard could it possibly be to arrange an intervention or a creepy exorcism or something to help you regain your sanity? I would just hate to have to visit you in a padded cell somewhere.” She sent him a sweet, innocent look and waited for his inevitable comeback.
“You’re really very funny, Candy Kayn. Maybe you should have a comedy show or something,” he shot back at her with pure unveiled sarcasm.
“It would be way funnier if it wasn’t totally the truth,” Kayn challenged.
Kayn’s twin sister, Chloe Brighton, was the perfected version of her. She was stylish and always the picture of popularity and perfection. People described her with words like captivating, stunning and provocative. Kayn, on the other hand, was described as cute, funny and a good runner. It didn’t seem very fair; however she loved her sister with blind acceptance. They had always been extremely close but definitely did not hang out in the same crowd now. To be honest, Kayn had no crowd at all; it was really just her and Kevin.
The only boys who ever showed an interest in Kayn were usually after her sister, Chloe. Kayn, being a tad less worldly than her sister, would always fall for them, thinking maybe this time this guy actually liked her. Kayn would talk to them on the phone for a while, then inevitably they would ask to come over to hang out or maybe do home work together. Kayn would invite them over and right when her heart would begin to flutter with the romantic possibilities of a goodnight kiss or how incredible it would be to have an actual boyfriend, it would happen. They would always make their intentions obvious by saying to Kayn something like, “because we are such good friends could you introduce me to your sister Chloe?”
Friends…a simple word that Kayn had begun to hate at a very young age because of her sister Chloe. That one simple word had felt like the wind from a breath that would blow out every single candle she had kept lit inside of her heart her whole young life to date.
Kayn would be blatantly lying if she said that this constantly repeating scenario didn’t breed some resentment towards her sister. Still, she would never let it show. Not once had she ever freaked out at her sister for stealing her imaginary boyfriends or simply for being morally bankrupt.
Kayn had learned at a very young age that her sister didn’t follow the same ethical or moral code that most people follow. She had this thing called a conscience which included guilt and a little voice in her ear saying, “Don’t do it Kayn.” She was pretty sure the voice talking to Chloe said, “Do it,” every single time and there was really no need for sentiment or morality in Chloe’s universe.
The giant self-contained universe that seemed to revolve completely around Chloe was simply amazing. One could stand with their mouth agape for hours simply listening to the stories of horrific events that Chloe had caused during a 24 hour period of time. It was as though her sister was in her own little snow globe completely by herself and life surrounded her. Once in a while someone stirred up her water but it simply revolved around her like everything else did, never really touching her or giving her a second to swirl around losing a second of control. Chloe was always completely unaffected by the world around her and stood unwavering through life’s currents.
Kayn couldn’t get really get mad at the boys who fell for Chloe though because she truly believed that her sister had the mythical powers of a siren. Chloe was alluring, enticing and seemed to have catnip for men on her somewhere. Kayn had often felt like patting her down and checking her pockets. She wondered how all this game just ended up in one of the babies. They were in the same womb after all and it didn’t really seem fair.
Kevin, the one guy whose opinion she cared about the most, was even holding a candle for her sister and he had known her his whole life. Kevin threw out comments on a regular basis saying that they could not be more different and he just could not believe they were twins. Put Chloe in a ten foot radius of Kevin and he couldn’t tell you his own name.
Chloe has mad skills in the driving men insane department, thought Kayn. As she stopped walking and looked behind her, the track was empty yet she shivered a little feeling like someone was watching her. She watched as a gust of wind seemed to run a trail down the track behind her stirring the dust up into the air. She needed a rest. I overworked myself today, she thought as she shook her head, thinking, its smoking hot out and not windy at all. Kayn turned her attention back to Kevin who seemed deep in thought as well.
“Did someone walk over your grave?” Kevin whispered in Kayn’s ear, breaking the silence. Whenever anyone had shivered around them it would bring up that granny quote that was the token statement that Kevin’s grandmother would always use when someone shivered in her presence. Kevin’s Granny would always say that you sneeze every time a ghost walks through you and you shiver every time someone walks over your grave. The retort would always be, “but I’m not dead granny.” Granny would answer with, “If only you knew how irrelevant the word dead actually is.”
Kevin’s grandmother had always acted as though she had a direct line to the spiritual world and being as spiritually enlightened as she was, when she uttered those words it made it extra creepy.
Sometimes his grandmother would spend hours just talking to Kayn about her dreams. Granny Winnie was a quirky, warm, funny woman that loved her from day one. Kayn hated to admit that she was most of the time on team granny because for some reason she seemed to absolutely despise Chloe. Granny Winnie couldn’t even breathe when Chloe was in the same room. Granny would pretend to gasp for air or make some kind of foul stench related statement referring to Chloe and on occasion be believable enough to cause a ‘perfect in her own mind’ Chloe to smell her own armpits. Chloe, being completely void of respect for her elders or pretty much anybody else, would refer to her as a crazy old bat or a witch. Often Granny Winnie would call Chloe out on an evil deed or two as if she could read her mind.
Strange weather we’ve been having lately, Kayn thought, watching the clear blue sky change in a matter of minutes from cloudless to laced with fluffy white clouds. She could smell the scent of the fresh cut grass; it was almost overpowering her senses. It was so strange that she hadn’t even noticed it until right this second.
The pair walked quietly for a second more when Kayn looked down at her feet and as she shuffled through the grass she could even hear the grass rustling under her feet. Kevin’s feet then came into her line of sight and she raised her eyebrows at Kevin and pointed to his untied shoe laces. They stopped walking towards the building so he could rectify the situation. Kevin bent over in front of her, fumbling to quickly tie his shoe before she could think up a smart ass comment about him trying to kill himself. Too late, Kevin thought smiling, because it was almost like you could see the little light bulb above her head light up with a funny dig.
Kayn began to speak as if she were reading his obituary. “I can see the paper now; it would read something like this; Kevin Smith was a wonderful boy so smart and good looking but a little clumsy. Had he simply tied up his shoes he would have never tripped down the stairs and found himself impaled on a janitor’s broom. Remember kids; tie your shoes; safety first.”
“Have I told you yet today that you’re an asshole?” Kevin stated as soon as she finished her version of his obituary reading. Kayn didn’t have a comeback. She just looked around her like she felt like something was coming.
Kevin leaned in to Kayn’s ear and whispered, “You sure you’re okay because you’re starting to creep me out a bit with this cagey behavior.”
Kevin’s warm breath in her ear made Kayn shiver again and she said, “No just over tired I guess.”
“The way that you’re swinging your head around young lady is frankly a little creepy.” Kevin said, raising his eyebrows in her direction in a moderately concerned fashion. He twirled around in a circle and added, “Nobody is coming I swear.”
“I know,” Kayn said. “I’m just feeling off. Maybe I’m coming down with something.”
“We should be more worried about you ending up with a nasty case of whiplash than me impaling myself on a janitor’s broom.” Kevin put his arm around her and gave her a buddy like squeeze. “Let’s go have a shower, muffin; you’re kind of sweaty and sticky. What do you do…cover yourself in honey before you go for a run?” Kevin said laughing, as he smelled his hands and said, “ewww that’s not honey.”
“There’s this thing called exercise, Kevin. It causes us to sweat removing toxins from our body; it’s not supposed to smell nice; it’s waste.” Kayn sweetly retorted.
“There you go talking all dirty again literally; it’s kind of hot all this talk of toxins and waste. What were your boyfriends’ names again Kayn?” Kevin retorted sweetly yet sarcastically.
“You should call up your invisible girlfriend and ask her what her name is, Kevin,” Kayn rebutted as they had a smiling face off moment.
“I have a girlfriend, Kayn. Her name is Chloe. She just doesn’t know it yet,” Kevin replied as a joke because he knew it irritated Kayn to no end.
“Do you know what the difference between you and a stalker is Kevin?” Kayn replied sweetly.
“Do tell oh wise and mighty stalking connoisseur,” Kevin sighed sarcastically.
“Whether or not you’re wearing her stolen thongs right now,” Kayn said beginning to wrestle him trying to look down the back of his shorts to see if he was wearing Chloe’s thong underwear.
“Hey, hey simmer down. You don’t want me to yell rape, Candy Kayn, do you, and I happen to be going commando so pulling off my shorts is not a great idea today,” Kevin chuckled fending her off.
“Gross, Kevin.” Kayn backed away laughing, imagining if someone else did it.
“Hey I will have you know I have been going commando since my first wedgie in grade five. Once they grab for underwear and don’t find any they get very afraid and back right off,” Kevin said using an authoritative tone.
Kayn doubled over into fits of giggles, “I may actually pee myself,” she said through bursts of hysterical laughter.
“You learn lots of little things that help you maneuver through geekdom unscathed if you’re crafty you know,” Kevin said as they started walking together again.
Sometimes Kayn wished he would make some kind of move on her just so they could see what more was between them. Kayn could never say it, or try anything out of fear of rejection, because he was the one who she could never take that from. Kevin had to know logically that Chloe would never go for him, not in a million years. She valued their friendship too much to let his testosterone, or what little he seemed to have, ruin everything by rejecting her on again off again glimmers of ‘what if’ feelings towards him.
Kayn was starting to grow tired of the fact that more and more of the conversations that they were having were centered on her sister. Kayn shot a slightly disapproving look at Kevin and said sweetly, “Let’s stop talking about Chloe all the time. Frankly I’m getting sick of it.”
“Shush,” Kevin said as he put one finger directly over her pursed lips. “You know not to speak of her voodoo powers.” They would have a giggle at her sister’s expense every once in a while and then the guilt would set in.
Kayn loved her sister to death and they were extremely close but of course they were twins. Finishing each other’s sentences was as normal as breathing but they had learned when they were just children to only do that at home and around family. People thought it was weird even though it is not an unusual thing for twins to do.
Her sister came out of the gate the high maintenance twin. Her parents would say she had always been a handful and a half.
Chloe Bear and Candy Kayn were the nick names Kevin made up for the twins in elementary school. Candy Kayn was Kayn’s nick name because she loved candy. It was cute and what you saw is what you would get with her.
However her sister’s nick name, Chloe Bear, was not because she was cute and cuddly. Chloe would actually growl and scream when she was angry. Kevin said she sounded just like a bear one day and the nick name stuck.
Chloe and Kayn were identical mirror images of each other, even with mirror image birthmarks behind their ears. Kayn’s birthmark was on the right side and Chloe’s was on the left side. They were perfect banana shaped red marks and they both would rub them as other little kids would snuggle a blanket and use a soother. Their mother had always been worried that it would make their ears permanently stick out but it hadn’t.
Chloe was somehow always in trouble and Kayn was always trying to find a way to help her sister out of it. Sometimes it became a full time job getting her sister out of trouble. In the last few years Chloe seemed to be in one scary and dramatic situation after another.
Boyfriend involved obsession always seemed to happen to Chloe. She would find herself running like she was on fire from every boy she had ever attempted to date. They would be sitting in cars outside of the house in the middle of the night making sure she was really at home.
Sometimes even a random guy would break into their house to steal things that belonged to her. In the beginning the police department thought Chloe must be doing something to bring all of this on herself but after she came in for a couple interviews at the police station, and the full grown men could not help but fawn all over her, they understood what Kayn already knew.
“We shouldn’t be joking about this stuff. The situations with Dave, Mark and Ian were pretty harsh,” she said in an almost whisper. Kevin turned and gave Kayn a strange look that said, think about what you just said for a second, and they both broke into a fit of giggles.
A giant stinging slap followed on her spandex running short covered butt. There was Kayn’s sister in all of her glory smiling at Kayn and giving a slight acknowledging glance towards Kevin. It was really very sad because from Chloe’s simple glance in his direction, Kevin turned ten shades of red as though she had whispered something dirty in his ear. He’s completely pathetic; Kayn thought and shot Kevin a strange look.
Chloe threw an arm around Kayn, then jumped away saying, “Ewe, yuck, gross you’re all sweaty. Listen you back stabbing witch, I’m not feeling that hot today. I’m on my way home. Do you need a ride?” Chloe said sweetly and of course in a slightly sarcastic manner, as she continued to grin as if she were posing for a picture. Come to think of it, her sister always looked as though she was posing for a picture. Chloe always wore a giant, beautiful, show stopping smile, like every moment of her life was one strange endless beauty pageant.
Chloe had a sarcastic sense of humor that Kayn never took seriously. “Nope I’m fine; just going to go and shower up, and then I’m going over to Kevin’s for dinner,” Kayn replied.
“See you later jerk,” Chloe joked back, and she leaned over and kissed Kayn’s sweaty cheek and grimaced. “Yes, go have that shower. See you later on tonight,” she sweetly stated. “I’ll be home around eight,” she added.
Kayn just couldn’t help herself and piped in, “You’re not going out tonight?”
Chloe stabbed Kayn with her green cat eyes and sighed, “I’m grounded.”
“Whatever for?” Kayn smiled sweetly even though she already could easily guess.
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out when you get home,” Chloe sang back, obviously not too concerned about it. Kayn was sure that sometimes Chloe got grounded on purpose to get a break from her social responsibilities. If there was a world record for groundings in a three year period her sister had it. “Bye Kevy.” Chloe turned on a dime and flounced away.
“Yup, voodoo powers,” Kevin said as Chloe walked away.
“I heard that, you little stinker,” she yelled back.
Kevin and Kayn turned, walking side by side, towards the fitness center. Kayn met his gaze and casually said, “I bet when you thought of sexy nick names she would call you in your fantasies, little stinker wasn’t one of them.” Kayn just couldn’t help herself. He left it wide open and she was on a roll. Kevin turned around and unceremoniously socked Kayn in the arm.
They continued walking side by side. Kayn stopped, turned around and said with a serious tone in her voice, “You hit me on my arm. I can’t believe you would do that.” Kayn glared at Kevin and feigning pain rubbed her arm and looked genuinely upset.
“I was just kidding. I didn’t actually hurt you did I?” Kevin said, looking genuinely concerned.
He knew he had been had when Kayn’s serious look crumbled into a grin and she said, “Woman abuse,” and smoked him on the arm twice as hard.
“What woman, I don’t see a woman anywhere around here. Oh you mean you,” he countered as he rubbed his still throbbing arm. Kevin pretended to be looking around for a woman that he couldn’t see anywhere.
“I will butt you out like a cigarette little man!” Kayn made a fist for a joke duel. Kevin scowled at her. Oh no…the look. Game over. Whoops, she knew she went too far. It’s all fun and games until you make one too many short jokes with Kevin.
“I am not little,” he stated in a matter of fact tone. Kevin was starting to get a little testy.
“Okay, how about vertically challenged,” Kayn said innocently. She was digging her own grave and she knew it. Kevin could argue for hours. He could debate about something forever and wear anyone out. “I might look short to an Amazonian like you,” Kevin countered.
“Touché,” Kayn said smiling. She did know better than to push it anymore because if he kept it up, the laughter she had been trying to suppress would escape.
“Five foot eight and a half is not that small. Everyone in my family is tall and I am still growing,” Kevin said as his voice cracked a little. Kayn doubled over laughing. She couldn’t help it with the well time voice crack and the ‘I am still growing’ speech. “Can you please be done laughing now,” Kevin said as they walked into the fitness center.
“I’ll see you outside in fifteen minutes, you sexy stud,” Kayn said in a sultry voice. She was still grinning as she pushed through the door to the girls’ change room.
“Quit mocking me, Amazonian woman,” he yelled dramatically.
As Kayn entered the change room, Kevin’s last joking retort seemed to bounce off the amazing acoustics in the cement and tile change room. Her feet were throbbing a bit from her shoes and the tiles felt icy on her hot feet. In a matter of months she had already worn her shoes out from running. It had to drive her parents completely crazy to have to replace her running shoes so many times in a year. She decided she would wait a while before telling her mom about their status. Kayn surveyed her shoes; the rubber worn right down till they were almost void of the cool treads that they had when they were new. She dropped her shoes. The thumping sound on the tiles echoed and seemed to bounce from wall to wall.
Kayn was just dying to sing in the shower but always afraid that someone would walk in on her. She pulled her tank top and bra off and looked into the mirror. With a clear view of the room around her she could see that nobody else was there. She was alone; comfortable except for her icy feet. She thought of Kevin waiting. Then she remembered that there was a coffee machine in the lobby by the pool. Kevin was probably having a coffee and watching the girls swim team; he was fine.
Kayn stripped down and stood naked in front of the mirror for a second. She pulled her hair out of her pony tail and it fell in damp lose ringlets across her bare shoulders. She tilted her head to one side and posed seductively with a smile as she surveyed her reflection.
Kayn Brighton was not hard to look at and she knew that she was a pretty girl. Maybe I should start wearing makeup to school, she thought to herself. It frustrated her a little, being the funny kind of dorky twin. Her face was freckled and tanned from hours upon hours of training in the hot sun. In the winter time all of her freckles went away and her skin was porcelain white. I could look just like Chloe if I wanted to, Kayn thought, sucking in her cheeks and then plastering a giant pageant style smile across her face.
Kayn walked towards the shower stalls; the tile flooring chilly on her feet. Kayn stopped again and glanced over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror. The conversation with her sister flashed through her memory. Chloe was feeling sick today; that’s what was going on with her then. Kayn quite often had sympathy illness whenever her twin wasn’t feeling one hundred percent.
Kayn turned around, pulled the plastic curtain to the shower and leaned in to turn on the water. It began to tap dance against the bottom of the stall and when it was just the right temperature she stepped inside. She smiled as the water beat against her weary tired muscles and she began to lather herself up with the nice scented pump soap. Today was her lucky day; a fresh full dispenser of soap, shampoo and conditioner. She didn’t even have to reach down and find her own in the bottom of her gym bag.
With her favorite running song still going through her mind, she started humming a few bars and then began to sing the words. Just then she heard the door open and quickly silenced her singing voice. She hurried through, rinsing herself off and quickly towel dried her hair. She ran her brush through her hair and put it back in her pony tail. As she passed by the mirror again glancing at her reflection, she wondered if Chloe ever felt like she wanted to be more like her. She quickly blew off that completely nutty thought.
Kayn was five minutes younger than her sister Chloe, but her twin acted five years older. Kayn had no voodoo powers with men; she was awkward and definitely had no game at all. She wondered if she asked Chloe how she did it, if she would she teach her something…anything to have someone ask her on a date before she was eighty years old.
Kayn had to admit it bugged her that Kevin obsessed about Chloe still; not that she seriously liked him or anything because that would probably not be a good move friendship wise and there was that word again…friends.
Kayn towel dried her back again, feeling trickles of water from her still damp hair trail down her back. She stood in her underwear and thought, do I really like Kevin? Kayn shook the thought out of her head and whipped her clothes back on. She grabbed her bag and hurried out the door, hoping he wasn’t too frustrated waiting for her. She forced open the door with an over exaggerated grunting sound.
Kevin was sitting on the railing waiting patiently and looking up at the sky with his mouth agape in a totally comical way. Kayn walked up beside him and said, “Trying to catch flies?”
“Always,” Kevin replied with a dimpled grin and quick wit.
“What are we looking at?” Kayn said as she stared up toward the heavens and made the same face.
“Come with me,” Kevin said and grabbed her hand and they started to walk towards the field. It felt like they had done just this same thing a thousand times. Kevin lay down in the grass and she lay beside him.
“Oh wow I get it; look at how fast the clouds are moving. It’s almost creepy. Wow, I wonder if there’s a storm coming, or something,” Kayn thought aloud.
As Kayn lay peacefully in the grass, suddenly there was a sharp pain searing through her stomach. She grabbed her stomach, sucked a deep breath in, and gasped, “What the hell was that.”
“You okay Kayn?” Kevin sat up and touched her arm concerned. Kayn winced again and doubled over, her insides afire with another strange penetrating pain. Kevin placed his hand on her stomach, watching her face calm and the pain disappear again as quickly as it had begun. Kevin looked at her and stated, “You need a big glass of water and dinner.”
Kayn stood up, trying to shake off a feeling of danger replaying in her mind, but with the pain suddenly gone again she said, “Yah that’s probably it.”
“Did you skip lunch again?” he scolded with a disapproving look on his face.
“I do believe that I did not eat lunch today.” There was a very simple explanation for the sharp undefined pain that she was experiencing. Kayn was often practicing at lunch time and would forget to eat. She felt the urge to look behind her again. She looked around in every direction trying to shake off this uncomfortable feeling that had been plaguing her all afternoon. Something in her mind was saying, be careful Kayn.
She shook it off again, remembering that the last horror movie that she had watched with Kevin days earlier had taken place at a lake. There they stood by the turn off to Lakeshore Drive; it’s all in my mind Kayn thought and started to laugh a little at her seriously over active imagination. Kevin had looked a little concerned earlier but he now had obviously recalled the hillbilly cannibal movie that they had watched the week before. He kneeled in the grass and picked up a handful of it and he smelled it.
“Just what I thought,” he said looking seriously concerned now.
“What is it,” Kayn said to his ominous tone and the hand full of grass that Kevin now held in his hand.
“It’s hillbilly urine; we had better get home before they come to eat us.” Kevin said overdramatically with a giant grin.
“Let’s get out of here you geek,” Kayn said shaking her head at him and smiling.
“Okay let’s go to my house. It’s got to be like five by now; dinners probably on the table,” Kevin said and smiled again. They looked at each other and smiled and started running through the field before the trails. This was the ritual race home they had since they had first been allowed out of their yards alone as children. Kevin, always sneaky and knowing with fair play there was no possible way to beat Kayn in a running race, shoved her over per usual and she fell with a gentle thump into the grass.
“Cheater,” Kayn yelled, out of breath as Kevin kept running away from her. She lay sprawled dramatically in the grass laughing. Kevin was laughing hysterically as he spanned a good twenty feet ahead of Kayn. “Cheater,” Kayn yelled again and slowly rose to her feet spitting out the freshly mowed grass from her mouth. She would let him win; it was good for Kevin to win sometimes. Kayn could take one for the team today, especially to see Kevin this happy.
Kevin let out an obnoxiously loud cheer as he vaulted over the fence to his yard. He raised his arms in a silent fake fanfare and took a bow. He had so never won once graciously in the whole ten years of their friendship.
Sure enough, they walked inside Kevin’s house to the amazing smells of his mother’s cooking. Kayn’s stomach started to grumble the second that they walked inside the house and the delicious aroma filled her senses. Kevin’s mom greeted her with a giant bear hug and said, “Hello there beautiful. Go wash your hands and I’m not going to ask you why you are both just covered in grass.” Kevin’s mom raised her eyebrows curiously and added, “We are at the table ready to eat so hurry up you two.”
Kayn glanced into the mirror and pulled the grass out of her hair letting a little smile escape as she washed her hands in the bathroom sink. She started giggling as she thought about how bad it looked when two teenagers of the opposite sex showed up covered in grass. Well, anyone else; with them platonic wrestling would be completely normal. Kayn was sure that if her dad walked in and they were wrestling on her bed he wouldn’t even flinch.
Kayn went and sat at her usual spot at the table with his family. They mirrored her own strangely personality wise cracked jokes and talked loudly about their day.
She loved everything about the Smith house, from the mismatched frames filled with family photos in the dining room to the extremely outdated green shag carpet in the living room. The living room was completed with a mismatched, yet cozy, couch set with two fluffy lounging felines that could be easily seen from the dining room table.
Kevin’s granny sat at the end of the table, her wispy white hair wildly untamed. Kayn could easily picture Kevin’s granny as a beautiful younger woman. There was a black and white picture in the hallway. Beautiful didn’t quite explain granny in her youth, for she had been enchanting. Winnie had rich golden curls that framed her narrow aristocratic face. She had looked as thin and frail as a fawn but there was something dark and treacherous in her eyes. Granny wore the same shade of dark blood burgundy colored lipstick even then. She always wore lipstick ten shades too dark and her teeth were worn, yellowed from age, and always seemed to have something stuck in them. If she got some false teeth it would make her look ten years younger but she truly didn’t care in the least.
Granny stared at Kayn the whole meal without speaking a single word to her. It was very unusual. Kayn couldn’t help herself and said, “So how are you doing today, Granny Winnie?”
“I’m good today, but you are not doing well, are you love? You are usually very yellow and today you look very blue,” Granny answered in a cautiously guarded manner. It was as if she were afraid of the words that may slip from her lips.
“Kayn had some stomach pain earlier; she’s probably coming down with the flu or something,” Kevin answered for her.
“Maybe that’s why,” Granny Winnie said as she glanced back down at her plate looking like she had more to say but was choosing not to speak. Then she looked up and directly into Kayn’s eyes with unmasked sadness and said, “Well, what will be, will be.” Granny stood up and walked over to Kayn, hugging her so tightly that she had to squirm away in order to breath. Sitting back down at the table, Winnie continued to stare at Kayn who looked pained in some way herself.
Kayn wanted to ask what she meant by that, but just figured she was completely mentally and physically exhausted and really wanted to go home to bed. She wasn’t into a three hour conversation with Granny about spiritual things right now.
Kayn excused herself to go to the bathroom, and called home on her cell. It went straight to voicemail. Chloe was probably on the phone; heaven forbid she would ever have an emergency and need to talk to her own parents.
Chloe had a cell phone too but was always grounded from it, yet they still let her talk on the landline which meant nobody else could get through, because heaven forbid, someone spend two dollars on an extra line or call waiting.
Kayn sat on the toilet and went to call her mom’s cell; she was obviously going to be a few minutes late tonight. Then she put her phone down after leaving a message and snuck down the hall to Kevin’s room for a quick prank or two before she went home.
After dinner Kevin’s mom gave Kayn a bag with some fresh eggs in it for her mom. The moms had this thing they did. We were always sent home with gifts.
It was starting to get dark so Kevin’s dad dropped Kayn off. She thanked him with a big hug, and got out of the car. The air smelled amazing, like cherry blossoms in full bloom. It had been raining while they were inside having dinner.
Kayn stepped out of the car, into a puddle, and twisted her ankle. Of course, she thought to herself. Soaked foot, eggs and school bag in hand, she limped up the steep driveway toward the front door. The door was partially open which was not normal. However it was a little windy out and quite normal for the door to be unlocked, so maybe it was left ajar, flung open by the wind?
She turned around to see that Kevin’s dad had driven away.
Kayn felt off; apprehensive, as she walked toward the door that seemed to have a life of its own. The door shifted from cracked open to shut in the wind. She looked at her cell phone. The time said it was quarter after eight. She thought they were playing a game with her; leaving the door open and lights off like this to freak her out. She thought Chloe was probably hiding around the corner. Practical jokes were the norm in her household.
It was almost dark outside. Kayn stopped again for a second time, feeling uneasy for some reason as she walked up the long gravel driveway. Her heart felt tight and her chest felt hollow as she paused again. The surrounding giant trees made it extra dark in her yard. The slivers of light flashed through the trees as they moved in the wind.
They lived in a beautiful area but very isolated. Kayn shoved her cell back in her pocket and pocket dialed Kevin by accident. She stepped towards the darkened doorway’s threshold and paused for a moment again before pushing the doorway completely open.
“I’m home,” Kayn yelled as she walked in the door, kicking off her shoes and dropping her school bag. She tried clicking on the front hall light; it was burnt out or something. Kayn had seen lights on upstairs as she walked up the driveway so she knew the power wasn’t out. It’s just a burned out light bulb, she thought to herself.
As Kayn tried to pull off her wet socks, she tried to balance on one leg, but a small stab of pain from her freshly twisted ankle caused her to put her hand against the wall in order to balance herself. Her hand slid off the wall and she struggled to pull her second soaking wet sock off. She massaged her ankle for a second and noticing it was swollen, said aloud, “Great, there goes the track meet.”
“Kevin’s mom gave us eggs,” Kayn said, speaking in almost a whisper, suddenly aware that she seemed to be alone in the house. Where would they have gone this late? Her mind began to sort through the possible scenarios.
“Mom…Dad?” she called out from the front doorway.
Kayn was answered by silence, and then, touching the wall, she felt the stickiness on her hand. She held her hand up to the faint sliver of light streaming through the trees that made it to the door way. There was blood on her hand; a lot of blood. Ripples of adrenaline crawled through her body and she felt as if thousands of spiders had run across the surface her skin.
Kayn froze for a split second, paralyzed with fear; shivers of terror crawling across her flesh. She started to gingerly step backwards out the door. She saw movement in the form of a dark figure down the hallway.
Kayn heard her sister’s voice scream, “Run Kayn.” It was raw, primal and shrill. Kayn turned and ran, bringing the eggs with her. There was someone right behind her; Kayn could sense him there.
She knew there was no time to look behind her. Kayn ran with no rhyme or reason in the direction that she was pointed in. She slipped in the wet grass, turned around somehow and then she saw the opening to the trails in the distance. It seemed to beckon her towards its mouth.
The neighbor behind them was closer than the neighbors on either side of them, making the trails a somehow logical yet illogical split second decision. Kayn wasn’t able to think or breathe and her basic animalistic instinct for survival was guiding her.
She had let go of the bag of eggs half way across the back lawn; throwing them behind her, hoping to slow her attacker. Kayn sprinted towards the trail’s opening, its entrance overgrown with foliage. She burst through the branches which had partially hidden the familiar pathway. The branches of the prickle filled blackberry bush tore at her flesh as she pushed through. The pain heightened her survival instinct which had possessed her. It was only this which drove her forward.
Kayn barreled into the overgrown trail, forcing her way through where she instinctually remembered that the trail had been. She had played in these trails as a child and she knew every hiding spot possible. There was no time for strategies or thinking; the crunching of leaves and twigs in the pathway behind her told her he was close; far too close to do anything but react.
Kayn slipped in the mud again, skidding, yet not falling. She ignored the stinging of her knees, thrusting her body with a violent jolt as if starting a run on the track. Kayn had now lost that precious half a second lead; this had allowed her hunter to close the space between them.
Her heart pounded through her chest like it was going to burst right through her skin as her tired legs propelled her body through the winding bike trail. The rocks and clay mud cut her bare feet. The twigs and branches whipped at her legs and the prickle bushes sliced at her flesh. She maneuvered instinct driven down the overgrown pathway.
“You have to run faster Kayn, run faster,” her sister’s voice mind screeched inside of Kayn’s terror driven mind.
Kayn heard the branches crunching behind her; the person in the dark hallways rhythm, as steady as the rhythm of her running. He was so close behind her that she could feel his breath on her hair and neck as he panted. He was almost touching her. He was so fast, inhumanly fast; she needed a rush of adrenaline to edge her ahead.
Kayn could see lights from someone’s house peeking through the trees. She was going to make it, she thought, as her bare feet pounded over the rocks and twigs slashing at her ankles and legs; she was almost there. She drove herself forward knowing she had only half a second lead from the hunter that pursued her. She was almost to safety…just over the creek. Her bare feet hit the small wooden bridge… she was almost there.
Kayn felt the elation of victory as she was about to burst through the bushes when she felt hot fire plunge into her back. Her eyes widened in terror as the knife plunged through her again; its blade seared a molten trail of excruciating pain through her body. A sweaty hand muffled her gasp of shock, as she sunk to her knees in disbelief.
Her capture’s arms were slick with perspiration; like a python, they constricted around her neck crushing her larynx. Screaming and pleading for her life would now be impossible. He continuously brought her to the brink of strangulation and then shook her awake, harshly reviving her.
Kayn tried to close her eyes; maybe he would believe her to be gone. He would leave her in the trails to bleed alone, allow her to peacefully slip away becoming one with the forest floor around her. Instead, every time her eyes slipped shut she felt the slicing, searing pain of his knife again and again in her stomach and chest until her eyes would open wide with terror. The next pain stole Kayn’s breath causing blood to sputter from her mouth. She gazed ahead of her and through the trees which were glimmering in flashing flickering light; she saw a figure in the distance.
Help me, oh god please help me; see me please, I’m right here, Kayn’s mind screamed. She could see his shadow on his patio through the trees in the luminescence of his porch lights; he was so close. A man was on the back porch having a cigarette.
He punched her stomach or cut her…she was unable to distinguish one kind of brutality from another…only something else searing a hot excruciating fire through her stomach. He’s killing me…please, her soul pleaded as her vision blurred from her tears. Kayn couldn't speak; she tried to scream; her throat crushed, the only sound she could make was a gurgling as she choked and sputtered out her own blood.
Why, why are you doing this to me? her mind cried to the stranger who breathed quickly with joyous excitement and stimulation in her ear. She felt the competing rhythms of their pounding hearts; her back against his chest. She saw the twigs and rocks on the forest floor around her. Kayn could smell damp moss and the scent of tree sap and the sweet metallic taste of her own blood.
On her hands she could feel the warm stickiness that she bled out into the dirt, trickling down her arms as it was escaping from her body. Her clothing was heavily soaked in her essence that moistened the earth around her.
He let her go for a second; she landed on all fours and tried to crawl away but she couldn’t will her body to move forward. She couldn’t breathe. She was on her knees taking small shallow breaths, clawing at the ground. His hot repulsive breath and quiet laughter was in her ear again and then he began whispering things that Kayn couldn’t understand. His hot sweaty body was behind her pressing against her back. She felt her stomach churning, revulsion mixed with blinding pain.
She tried one last struggling movement to get away from his grasp, and then suddenly felt some horribly blinding pain across her head and face. The lights flickered and then went out.
In the woods lay a bleeding angel in all her glory. Her arms posed gracefully above her head and her hair soaked in the mud, the blood and feces in which she lay. Dying, fading into the other realm, her form christened by the rain as though the trees had begun to weep upon her in sadness for the brutality she had endured.
There was someone waiting in the trails; a dark presence lingering nearby waiting for her to regain consciousness.
Kayn awoke in frigid darkness. The pain that pulsated through her seemed to recycle in waves until it began to slowly dull and became a tolerable numbness. She struggled to open and focus her eyes. She could smell a familiar scent; it smelled overpoweringly sweet but somehow like metal. Kayn could taste the sweet repulsive flavor of it in her mouth; it made her want to vomit.
She was lying in mud and she felt hot stickiness behind her. She suddenly remembered what that taste had been. It was her own blood that she could taste inside of her mouth. Kayn could barely breathe. Shuddering, she began to remember the brutality that she had endured. Her mind began feeding her slivers, flashes of inhuman violence. Her mind numb and confused from blood loss, clicked through scattered memories from her childhood.
Help me please, her mind pleaded into the forest through the tapping sounds of the rain hitting the branches above where she lay. They seemed to be shielding her and as her vision came into focus she imagined the lush green branches above as giant arms. They protected her, covering her from the elements allowing her one last peaceful moment. They are beautiful, she thought. Her mind wandered through mystical visions of the majestic cedar trees alive and somehow capable of offering her protection.
Her suddenly peaceful smile on her face that had been contorted by pain signaled his essence back to her. Her vision came into focus and again this time the trees crackled and mocked her. You’re going to die you silly bitch, they seemed to chant. They waved their branches, howling, as the wind whistled through the trails which had suddenly grown icy cold. Kayn’s mind snapped back to reality; she had lost a lot of blood…none of this was real.
A man stood by that same tree whose imaginary arms had shielded her from the rain; still waiting, veiled in mist. The change in temperature had caused the forest floor to come alive with a dancing mist that seemed to add a thickness to the tapping sound of the rain drops. The tree he leaned casually on had damp bark and his fingers were beginning to prune. He stood up removing his hand and wiped it on his pants in disgust.
Writhing in the mud, Kayn willed her body to move; her fingers clawed at the ground around her until she was spent. She lay in stillness for a moment, feeling like a half dead animal waiting to be finished off by its hunter. She concentrated on each breath…in and out…a little air. She was alive. It felt like she was breathing through a straw and somebody had pinched the end.
The streams of light from the moon that had been dancing through the dark stormy clouds had now disappeared, leaving only a cold dark night with no final visions of beauty. Kayn longed for some light but was left with only the flickering of blurry dark images. She couldn’t see anything in the absence of light and began to panic again, for she could feel her grasp on her life being absorbed into the mist. I’m so scared; I don’t want to die; please help me, her soul sobbed. The only answer was the crackling quiet sound of the rain.
Kayn couldn’t see anything at all now with her vision clouded with tears, so had to stop herself from crying. Her head pounded with blinding pain that had abruptly returned. She could sense that he was still nearby watching her. His dark shadow loomed in the distance as it had in the hallway of her house.
Please, please, no more, Kayn begged in her mind as he came closer to her, standing a few feet away from her now, just watching with his head tilted to one side. Her heart was begging, Please don’t hurt me anymore.
Kayn was trying to wriggle but no movement came from her thoughts now. She willed herself to grasp at the moist cold earth with her fingers. She was unable to move at all; now her body was nothing more than a broken shell. It was cruel, almost horrific, for her mind to still see; to still desire life at this point. Kayn looked into his eyes and pleaded through her mind again, why are you doing this to me?
She was so cold her body gave an involuntary shudder. Kayn realized then that she was naked, completely exposed to the elements. Why was she naked? Her eyes were full of tears again; she felt instant, almost overwhelming shame.
Kayn could still feel the sticky heat behind her as her blood drained from her body, soaking into the dirt. The pain in her head began to numb as the lights through the trees began to flicker again.
The dark mass of her violator suddenly appeared beside her, leaning in so close that she could smell his putrid breath, moist over her face. Every hair on her body was standing on end. The electrical power between Kayn and the man in the dark was like a charge. He ran a finger over her exposed breast saying, “You were never to be born; this situation had to be corrected.”
Kayn saw his knife glint in the light from the moon. It was raised above her chest. Yes, she thought, let it be over now. She shut her eyes as the knife sliced into her chest. Kayn opened her eyes again with acceptance; she felt no more pain. She stared deeply into his eyes as hers filled with tears.
He tried to regain his composure and with a voice thick with emotion he said, “To this life unto the next.” He slowly began to cut some kind of symbol on the skin on Kayn’s chest above her heart. She lay limp in his arms, still conscious of what was happening, yet free from the pain and fear now. He pulled her close to cradle her naked body in his arms like a baby, rocking her broken violated flesh in his arms, stroking her blood soaked hair. He began to sob as if he was repentant in some way for how he had tortured her.
As her vision flickered one last time, the man was gone; it was her mother looking into her eyes.
Her mother’s eyes were filled with so much love that it seemed to release her from her pain and fear as it did when she was a small child. Her mother cradled her as a baby, rocking her back and forth. She was safe now in her mother’s arms. She was at peace. Mommy, her heart sang, you’re here to save me.
The warmth of her mother’s love enveloped her tortured soul. She looked into her mother’s eyes. She touched Kayn’s face and started to sing a song that she had sang to her every night when she was very small.
Sleep, sweet sleep till the morning
Just dream away and close your eyes
My love you'll be safe until the morning
Sleeping in my heart, all through the night
Although bad dreams come to scare you
My love will scare them all away
The lights flickered, the pain went away, and her mother was holding her, singing ‘Sleep sweet sleep’.
My Published Books
Being four is my First Book published by Eloquent/Strategic
Heaven Smiled on me (Indie)
Shark Boots (Indie)
The Shark Boots and Shenanigans series
Stuff About My Mom
That Snowman Ate My Taco
Freckles On His Nose And Wiggles In His Toes
The Boogie Man Can
Teen/ Adult selections
Stuff About My Mom
That Snowman Ate My Taco
Freckles On His Nose And Wiggles In His Toes
The Boogie Man Can
Teen/ Adult selections
Sweet Sleep Teen/Adult Thriller
The Hot Chick Diaries Teen/Adult Dark Comedy
You Can Find Me Online
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