I'll kill you my damn self if you finish that sentence

Grey could obviously still feel something tickling his leg. He glared at the next usual suspect. He teased, “Listen Lily, no means no.”

            Lily said, “Do try to get over it Grey. I’m afraid that ship has sailed.”

             “Okay, not funny. That was half way up my leg.” Grey accused as his eyes widened.

            “Oh shit,” he squealed and hissed, “Get out of the booth, get out! Oh my God, there is something furry in my pants!”

             “That’s what she said,” Zach whispered to the group.

             Everyone began to howl laughing as Grey began to squeal, “Oh crap, oh crap!” He undid his pants and squeamishly struggled out of them. His pants left in a bundle on the restaurant floor to the other patrons’ astonishment. Grey stood there for just a second frozen in terror. He was wearing nothing but his tight gray colored underwear. He began to jump around like a girly girl squealing,” Oh shit, shit, shit!”

The pants on the floor began to move and then out from under them crawled the largest black rat any of them had ever laid eyes on. They all began to howl, laughing in unison. Grey squealed and shrieked like a little girl. He jumped up on the seat in the booth. Zach was hysterically laughing to the point of crying.

            “I’m out of here,” Grey stammered, “that grotesque creature was in my pants.”

            “That’s what she said,” Frost added to the long standing clan joke.

            The waitress walked up and picked up the rat and chuckled, “Sorry, this is the boss’s kid’s pet. He must have gotten out somehow. It’s not a wild rat or anything, it’s just a house pet.”

            “Your house pet was in my pants,” Grey hissed causing some of them to sputter a bit of laughter out even while attempting to stop.

            Zach whispered, “That’s what ...”

            Grey raised his hand and threatened, “I swear if you finish that sentence I will kill you in your sleep.”

            “Okay sweetie,” Lexy whispered. “You can sit down now. The big bad rat is gone.”

            The waitress walked away holding the rat in her arms. It was as big as a cat. Grey murmured, “Just a house pet.” He stared at the waitress intensely for a second and her skirt fell off. She squealed and ran into the back room without letting go of the rat.

            Lexy grabbed Grey’s arm and yanked him to back down on the bench seat. “You’re a grown man. Was that really necessary?”

            Grey gave Lexy an innocent look and said, “I’ll give her a good tip.”

            Zach said, “Just the...?

            Lexy scowled at Zach and said, “I’ll kill you my damn self if you finish that bloody sentence.”

Learning to die

Lexy stood before them, clearing her throat a couple of times before she announced, “This portion of the training is a brain exercise. The testing will tell the third tiers if you are a viable second tier, long term. A second tier’s biggest weakness is that their brain is trained to respond to situations as a human being. We have the ability to heal everything but your psyche.  You have to be able to shut down the need for self preservation. In order to have the ability to run full force into the center of a hurricane, you will need to fully accept the fact that death is not a permanent state. The human brain has a little self preservation switch. It wants to turn off once it’s been wounded. It needs time to reboot. Some call it shock and others say it’s a blessing, but your brain wants to protect you from prolonged agony. You break a limb and your brain shuts off the pain until the shock wears off. Our brains need to be able function in those moments after serious injury. Just because we can heal your body, that doesn’t mean your brain will allow you to operate it.”

Kayn could read the disclaimer at the bottom of this page. This portion of the training was going to epically suck. They followed Lexy through the endless desert. There was a flash of light and the scenery changed. They had to stop cold as they were now standing right on the edge of a vast clay ravine with no greenery.

Lexy said, “The three of you are only as strong as your weakest link. Hold hands.”

Kayn and Melody each grabbed one of Zach’s hands. They stood on the edge of the rocky bluff.  She guessed they were going to have to stop themselves from falling? They knew how to do this. What was the big deal about this exercise? Kayn stretched forward and peered over the edge. They wouldn’t have much time to work up the adrenaline to stop. This wasn’t thousands of feet. When they entered the in-between it was from just above the cloud line. This drop would be fast, and it would hurt like a son of a bitch if they didn’t manage to stop themselves.

Lexy said, “This game has only one rule. No matter what happens, you can’t let go of each other’s hands.”

Kayn looked at the other two and thought that sounds easy enough.

Melody said, “Don’t let go. Let’s do it on the count of three, one, two and jump.”

Zach said, “Are we jumping on three then?”

Melody answered, “I don’t think it will matter. You are in the middle so when we jump you’re coming along.”

Melody began to count, “One, two and jump.”

They sprung off of the ledge without any fear. They knew they could stop. All three of them reached up one hand to try to stop the impact and it didn’t work. Kayn had time to remember one of the first times she had dropped from the sky into the in-between. She was told to let go of Kevin. Let go or she wouldn’t be able to stop. They were not allowed to let go of each other. They didn’t let go and kept holding each other’s hands.

 Kayn squeezed her eyes shut in the last second before impact and said, “Shit.” There was an explosion of excruciating soul altering pain. That was followed by nothing for a moment, then a steady humming sound. She felt heavy, weighted to the clay floor. She began to vibrate. She heard Melody’s voice echoing in the distance. It sounded like it was coming from the end of a tunnel, “Kayn, Zach, wake up.”

Kayn choked a deep breath of air into her lungs and gasped. Her chest felt like it had been scalded from the inside with boiling water. All the way down her throat, it was on fire. It was burning. She took another breath and it slowly began to subside and normalise.  Shit, did that ever suck. She heard someone groan from beside her on the ground. It was Zach. He was writhing around, also in excruciating pain.

He squirmed on the ground and thought back to her, you can say that again.

Kayn agonizingly rotated her head, so she could look at him. She noticed that Melody was already standing up. She looked just fine. Why couldn’t she be a healer instead of this Conduit bull shit?

She heard Zach’s feeble attempt to choke out the word, “Ditto.” 

Dark and twisty teasers

This last time it was the death of her emotional self. It had been the demise of a large portion of her humanity. She’d been tortured and disemboweled. She had been shown her own insides. She remembered everything, every last horrifying second. Kevin had been the one to deliver her to this horrifying version of death. She lay in the still and the silence. She did not attempt to move a muscle. There are some things that you can't come back from.

The wall opened, and she was dragged through by a familiar face. Patrick stammered, “I don't have time to explain, but things are not as they appear to be.”

Patrick left her there lying emotionally vacant on the ground, staring at the stone above. She did not try to stand up. Kayn made no attempt to seek vengeance. She wasn’t sure how long she lay motionless. She was one with the floor. She would close her eyes and become a part of it now. She heard someone coming. They were Triad. They looked down at her and kept walking. She heard one of them say, “She’s almost gone...don't bother."

She lay motionless on the hard stone floor, her eyes wide open. She did not even have the will to blink. They were right. She was almost gone.

M.S

I’ve started getting the emails for the Walk for M.S. It’s that time of year again. Last year at this time, I was too sick to do the walk. I had a moment where I noted how far I’ve come since February of last year.  I was strolling through Facebook and I found this picture. It had me sobbing like a baby…again. I cried almost as hard as I did when I saw my son's tiny t-shirt that said, Mommy.

I’m going to do the walk this year. I hope everyone that reads this post will take an hour out of their day and join me by doing the walk in your area.   

 I know there will come a day when everyone with Multiple Sclerosis will be able to say the words, “I used to have M.S.” 

The Children of Ankh series

Sweet Sleep