The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert BlochIt's
True that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down, Before He Admits He’s lost?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot
The road to success is always under construction.
Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!